I'm still having nightmares about myself.
I've made wishes on poetry and torn apart bad books to re-write them,
Stolen candy from a baby and said F- words to strangers.
Forever, Finally and Free.
But I lied, because every time I'm finally sure I don't love you anymore I hear a song that was written about the two of us and I'm back in the state of forever, and the bathwater turns cold around me, and I remember that you'll never love me as much as I love you and F- word.
I plan to erase you from my memory,
(Like that scene in eternal sunshine of a spotless mind.)
I Made my own machine out of old letters you'd written to me, a blue box and silver light bulbs, and paper hearts. I curled myself In that brown chair we used to laugh at, and fell asleep.
You've always had stars in your eyes, you'd bite your lip and blink and they'd flow in a spiral around your fingertips.
You are So special.
You decided we didn't belong on this planet anymore,
Its 3am, frantic circling the room for F e e s . . .
i r f i
You have my life support wrapped around your heartstrings
You pull away I fall apart,.
So you kiss my forehead, turn around and disappear.
I Made my own machine, out of old letters you'd written to me, reading them as I tore them to fix my machine, I'd wipe the tears that flowed under my chin, they left your words blurry and damp.
I'd re-write over your words with my finger tips, maybe I can change the ending to this story.
Some times I feel like if you don't say my name I won't exist.
I stuck a picture of you above my bed and starred at it as I fell asleep, that way you were my guardian angel.
but you've hated me, even in my dreams.