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Submitted on
October 3, 2010
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I'm still having nightmares about myself.

I've made wishes on poetry and torn apart bad books to re-write them,
Stolen candy from a baby and said F- words to strangers.

Forever, Finally and Free.

But I lied, because every time I'm finally sure I don't  love you anymore I hear a song that was written about the two of us and I'm back in the state of forever,  and the bathwater turns cold around me, and I remember that you'll never love me as much as I love you and F- word.


I plan to erase you from my memory,
(Like that scene in eternal sunshine of a spotless mind.)

I Made my own machine out of old letters you'd written to me,  a blue box and silver light bulbs, and paper hearts. I curled myself In that brown chair we used to laugh at, and fell asleep.


Dream 01.

You've always had stars in your eyes,  you'd bite your lip and blink and they'd flow in a spiral around your fingertips.

You are So special.


Dream 02.

You decided we didn't belong on this planet anymore,
Its 3am, frantic circling the room for   F                 e                             e     s .   .  .
                                                          i        r                 f              i
                                                                                           l  
                 

Dream 03.

You have my life support wrapped around your heartstrings
You pull away I fall apart,.
So you kiss my forehead, turn around and disappear.


Insomina.

I Made my own machine, out of old letters you'd written to me, reading them as I tore them to fix my machine, I'd wipe the tears that flowed under my chin, they left your words blurry and damp.
I'd re-write over your words with my finger tips, maybe I can change the ending to this story.

--
Some times I feel like if you don't say my name I won't exist.
I stuck a picture of you above my bed and starred at it as I fell asleep, that way you were my guardian angel.

but you've hated me, even in my dreams.




F-words.

Forever . Find . Free . Finally .
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:iconmichealunderway:
michealunderway Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
amazing. pure brilliance!
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:iconomgwtfbbqitbitch:
omgwtfbbqitbitch Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2011
I can never, ever get enough of your writing. Ever.
If I was as gifted as you, truly, I would rule the world with my freaking awesomeness.
Reply
:iconscribblednotes:
ScribbledNotes Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010
i saved this on my Touch and been reading it ever since you posted it.... it's deep and very personal. i like the emotion you carry into this piece. it's very raw and real. love it Jazz, don't stop the writing! :heart:
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:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I stopped feeling after I posted it, It's the funniest thing.. It's almost as if this is what I needed to do.

You and I should write a piece together soon, some way - some how. It's my christmas wish. :heart:
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:iconscribblednotes:
ScribbledNotes Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2010
oh man - seriously??? that's like, my dream, seriously, to write a piece with you... oh wow.... what would it be about? any ideas? wow! i'm SUPER excited now!!!!
Reply
:icondnangela:
DNAngela Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2010
THIS IS WHAT I MISSED
AND NOW, I CAN READ IT.

I like the little blips, the memories, the little pains and pleasures sprinkled throughout the poem. It's fascinating, and really inspiring.
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:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I felt like I was sprinkling glitter on the floor, and it began to rise and float to the sky.

it left a bittersweet feeling, but alas, life must go on.
Reply
:icondnangela:
DNAngela Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2010
Indeed.
Reply
:iconoxideblu:
OxideBlu Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2010
Please don't take this wrong...this poem reads so very Nicole Blackman-ish. I have to love it.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
It would have been a shame not to remind you of someone, I am flattered. I checked her out. :aww:
Reply
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