literature

I forgot to forget you.

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Published: Dec 5, 2008

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Literature Text

_{_{Once you told me you didn't like the way I curl myself towards you
And that I shouldn't walk with my feet facing the other because it was childlike

I took the long way home that night thinking about what you said, staring at my feet
Forcing them to point forward. Every time they disobeyed I pinched myself till my thighs were anesthetized,
So now I can’t feel my legs.

I’ve always written the words you’ve said  to me and posted them around my room,
I'd bite my lip, as the sun hit the L in useless,
Us-(e)-less. Imaging the way the words rolled off your tongue

That day I found you  sitting on the edge of my bed reading your words,
The sunlight hit your nose as you stared at that L in useless.
Your top lip quivered as your bottom lip cringed

You pulled them down

                                                             and left.

I called you the next day,
You had the voice of last year’s cough

And your phone

                                        suddenly stopped working.

I was exceedingly ashamed.

I've collected your words in a glass jar
Hid them behind the empty bookshelves
My eyelashes pregnant with guilt,

R  o l  l  i  n g off my cheeks.
You would have laughed at the way they fell

                                                               under my chin

I counted them so I could remember how much I missed you

I remembered  the time you said I didn’t look much like a panda at all,
Maybe its my ears’ they are far too small,
I dug my fingers into my stomach, Sat emptied of beauties
and looked away.

Months later, I wrote the words useless across my forehead
As I wished you a happy birthday from my bedroom mirror.

I heard you were breathless

I breathe – less
Wondering why your phone still doesn’t work.}}