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written. by livesofbirds

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Submitted on
December 5, 2008
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Once you told me you didn't like the way I curl myself towards you
And that I shouldn't walk with my feet facing the other because it was childlike



I took the long way home that night thinking about what you said, staring at my feet
Forcing them to point forward. Every time they disobeyed I pinched myself till my thighs were anesthetized,
So now I can’t feel my legs.



I’ve always written the words you’ve said  to me and posted them around my room,
I'd bite my lip, as the sun hit the L in useless,
Us-(e)-less. Imaging the way the words rolled off your tongue



That day I found you  sitting on the edge of my bed reading your words,
The sunlight hit your nose as you stared at that L in useless.
Your top lip quivered as your bottom lip cringed

You pulled them down

                                                             and left.



I called you the next day,
You had the voice of last year’s cough

And your phone
                              
                                        suddenly stopped working.




I was exceedingly ashamed.



I've collected your words in a glass jar
Hid them behind the empty bookshelves
My eyelashes pregnant with guilt,

R  o l  l  i  n g off my cheeks.
You would have laughed at the way they fell

                                                               under my chin



I counted them so I could remember how much I missed you

I remembered  the time you said I didn’t look much like a panda at all,
Maybe its my ears’ they are far too small,
I dug my fingers into my stomach, Sat emptied of beauties
and looked away.


Months later, I wrote the words useless across my forehead
As I wished you a happy birthday from my bedroom mirror.


I heard you were breathless

I breathe – less
Wondering why your phone still doesn’t work.
1:48am.

listening to Sufjan stevens.
:tea:

*edit. Jan 15th 2010 A letter to an old friend.
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:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
:heart:
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:iconinkteardrops:
inkteardrops Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010  Student
I love this. I really do. It made me cry [literally]. it's beautiful, and passionate, and so genuine.

This is why I am such a big of yours
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
awwh, then your going to want to avoid my newer poetry.. lol its all emotion derived... :heart:
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:iconinkteardrops:
inkteardrops Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010  Student
I highly doubt that madam. I am not just getting around to doing so.
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:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
:heart:
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:iconiyafernandez:
iyafernandez Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2010
Unrequitted love, sadness is deep. Rejection is painful. Sometimes we expect things: love reciprocated at the very least.
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:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
still hurts.
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:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
A deeply personal piece.
Thanks for sharing. :heart:
Sufjan Stevens is great... Iron and Wine is great too. :)
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:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
thank you so much for reading, in deep appreciation :heart:
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