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Submitted on
December 5, 2008
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Once you told me you didn't like the way I curl myself towards you
And that I shouldn't walk with my feet facing the other because it was childlike



I took the long way home that night thinking about what you said, staring at my feet
Forcing them to point forward. Every time they disobeyed I pinched myself till my thighs were anesthetized,
So now I can’t feel my legs.



I’ve always written the words you’ve said  to me and posted them around my room,
I'd bite my lip, as the sun hit the L in useless,
Us-(e)-less. Imaging the way the words rolled off your tongue



That day I found you  sitting on the edge of my bed reading your words,
The sunlight hit your nose as you stared at that L in useless.
Your top lip quivered as your bottom lip cringed

You pulled them down

                                                             and left.



I called you the next day,
You had the voice of last year’s cough

And your phone
                              
                                        suddenly stopped working.




I was exceedingly ashamed.



I've collected your words in a glass jar
Hid them behind the empty bookshelves
My eyelashes pregnant with guilt,

R  o l  l  i  n g off my cheeks.
You would have laughed at the way they fell

                                                               under my chin



I counted them so I could remember how much I missed you

I remembered  the time you said I didn’t look much like a panda at all,
Maybe its my ears’ they are far too small,
I dug my fingers into my stomach, Sat emptied of beauties
and looked away.


Months later, I wrote the words useless across my forehead
As I wished you a happy birthday from my bedroom mirror.


I heard you were breathless

I breathe – less
Wondering why your phone still doesn’t work.
1:48am.

listening to Sufjan stevens.
:tea:

*edit. Jan 15th 2010 A letter to an old friend.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
:heart:
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:iconinkteardrops:
inkteardrops Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010  Student
I love this. I really do. It made me cry [literally]. it's beautiful, and passionate, and so genuine.

This is why I am such a big of yours
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
awwh, then your going to want to avoid my newer poetry.. lol its all emotion derived... :heart:
Reply
:iconinkteardrops:
inkteardrops Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010  Student
I highly doubt that madam. I am not just getting around to doing so.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconiyafernandez:
iyafernandez Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2010
Unrequitted love, sadness is deep. Rejection is painful. Sometimes we expect things: love reciprocated at the very least.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
still hurts.
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
A deeply personal piece.
Thanks for sharing. :heart:
Sufjan Stevens is great... Iron and Wine is great too. :)
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
thank you so much for reading, in deep appreciation :heart:
Reply
:iconmedreaming:
medreaming Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2010
This is such a beautiful poem. Amazing job! :clap:
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
thank you very much :heart:
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2010
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
you! you! you! thank you, most ardently :heart:
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2010
It was our pleasure.
Reply
:iconwowgypsy:
wowgypsy Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2010
This is beautiful, I can relate to it and it makes me think.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconwowgypsy:
wowgypsy Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2010
no problem at all, your very welcome!
Reply
:iconthings-i-have-loved:
things-i-have-loved Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2010  Student General Artist
this is heartbreaking. love it. (:
you can't be useless if you write beauty like this. :heart:
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
awh, that's so sweet, :aww: thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconyuki-ryuzaki:
Yuki-Ryuzaki Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2010
Oh mai, this is wonderful :iconhugplz: love love love it!
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
awh I am so glad you do, thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconelisahawkins:
ElisaHawkins Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009
this sums up how i have been feeling today, yesterday, and all month. muy bien y gracias!
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
awwwh :aww:
i send many hugs your way my dear. :heart:
Reply
:iconsimply-phate:
simply-phate Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
it makes me wonder...
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
what about? :aww:
Reply
:iconhell-on-a-stick:
hell-on-a-stick Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2009  Professional Writer
BANG!
you do it like a knife in my guts
you do it like my heart when it remembers that it can still beat.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
awwwh, this is a good thing?
Reply
:iconhell-on-a-stick:
hell-on-a-stick Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2009  Professional Writer
yes'm
Reply
:iconscribblednotes:
ScribbledNotes Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2008
I need to listen to Sufjam too. I love this... wow. Feels lightyears ahead of your former stuff. Guess you haven't in the least lost your touch and you're still as golden as ever.

Heartache, real stuff, makes for the best poetry. :heart:
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
awwwwww,
thank you! most kind :aww::heart::heart:
Reply
:iconmyheartsong:
myheartsong Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2008
I think it's just my mood today, but this brought me to tears...I guess it hits home. I love it but I hate it haha...if that makes sense.

Some days are just hard when you're missing people you adored.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
awwh mandy :heart: i know the feeling :hug:
Reply
:iconashesanddisarray:
ashesanddisarray Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
this is wonderful, and the words just seem to flow effortlessly.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
thank you kindly :heart:
Reply
:iconashesanddisarray:
ashesanddisarray Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
welcome! :D
Reply
:iconcii-chan7:
cii-chan7 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2008
This is just absolutely brilliant. I love the way it was written and the emotion. Ahhh. <3
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
thank you dear :aww:
Reply
:icondnangela:
DNAngela Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2008
It's so bitingly honest.
Your trademark.
It hurt to read, agonizing, clear as a picture.

I'm not afraid to admit that I shed a tear over this.
And I didn't force it out.

You really don't cease to marvel me.
Amazing job.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
awwwwwwwh angela!!!!!! *huggles*

thank yoo :aww:
Reply
:icondnangela:
DNAngela Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008
Of course.
:hug:
Reply
:iconseraamadis:
SeraAmadis Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2008
Lovely. I love how you depict something while never actually saying its name, but with its descriptors instead.
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
oh darling dear, thank yoo :aww:
gosh me and my depression it makes me a great writer apparently ;]
Reply
:iconseraamadis:
SeraAmadis Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2008
Hey, some of the most awesome art comes out of depression...I mean, that's the one good thing about it, if we want to be optimistic, hehe :)
Reply
:iconkahteeha:
kahteeha Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2008
mmmm i quite adore this

and i also have crooked legs
and i also love sufjan
:)
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
thank you dear :aww:
sufjan is love, and difference is perfection. ;]
Reply
:iconplacidempathy:
placidempathy Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Very nice. The words flow softly and well. I wish my poems sounded like that.

"R o l l i n g off my cheeks.
You would have laughed at the way they fell"
I love how that's written. :D

Brief (and minor) criticism: I know a lot of people don't change what they write after it's been committed to paper--don't change anything you don't want to. That said, were you going for staring (stare) instead of starring (star)?
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:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
thank you dear :aww:
point taken i have made the correction thank you kindly :hug:
Reply
:iconlinlith:
Linlith Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
words hitting my stomach
Reply
:iconbohemianpoets:
bohemianpoets Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
really?

that makes me feel warm :aww:
Reply
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